


Yet So Far

by kingdra (aroceu)



Series: July 2017 Advent Calendar [19]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Kissing Lessons, M/M, Spin the Bottle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-08 18:45:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11652480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroceu/pseuds/kingdra
Summary: James knew that Sirius would pick dare. Sirius had chosen it the last five times it had gone around to him, three from James wherein he tried to go up the girls' dormitory and failed, was forced to practise his fire-repelling charm when stuck his arm in the fire (it had been half successful; the tips of Sirius's fingers were still burnt, and James ignored how he wants to apologise and maybe--), and went an entire round in dog form, not allowed to verbally react when Remus confessed to fancying someone in their house, and howling so much at one point that they woke up a few angry seventh year girls and had to hide him in the shadows.Sirius looked at the bottle and Peter thoughtfully and James leaned back on his elbows. This should be good.





	Yet So Far

**Author's Note:**

  * For [static_abyss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/static_abyss/gifts).



> An exchange gift for Ana, who is a butt.

"Truth or dare, James?"  
  
James rolled his eyes. The firewhiskey bottle, pointed at him across from Remus, shone orange in the common room, little flecks of yellow from the firelight dancing along the sides. Peter had his knees curled up to his chest, and Sirius's chin was perched on his hand, elbow propped up on his knee.  
  
"Dare," James said, the same time he saw Sirius mouth it to himself. "And hey, Padfoot, I can't help it if I'm predictable."  
  
"It's okay, Moony's dares are tame." Sirius grinned. "He'll probably dare you to do your homework or something."  
  
"And I ought to," said Remus, but he seemed to be deep in thought. "Okay... James. I dare you to kiss Wormtail's bare foot."  
  
"What!" James squawked, as Peter and Sirius fell over in laughter.  
  
The common room was deserted; they didn't know what time it was, only that exams started tomorrow afternoon and they were using that as an excuse to stay up late, get drunk, and play some Muggle game that Lily had taught James once, reluctantly. James watched Sirius yawn and then grin, black eyes shining. James blinked, and the his head had turned to Peter, who was taking off his sock and looking at James expectantly.  
  
James whined to Remus, "You were supposed to dare me to do my homework."  
  
"I still can," Remus said. He pointed at Peter's foot anyway. "Kiss Peter's foot, James."  
  
"Don't worry," Peter assured him. "It's clean."  
  
"I don't trust any of you," James declared, as he scooted over on his knees to Peter. Peter snickered again as James looked at his foot distastefully. "Why've I got to kiss it?"  
  
"What, you'd rather dare you to lick it?" Remus asked.  
  
"No!" both James and Peter exclaimed immediately, as Sirius doubled over in more laughter.  
  
"Fine, fine," James said. He crinkled his nose and bent down, getting his face near Peter's foot. "Don't kick me, Wormtail."  
  
"Can't make any promises," Peter said cheerfully.  
  
James darted his face in, closed his eyes tightly, and kissed the top of Peter's foot. Then he pulled away and wiped his mouth, going, "Ugh. Why is that something you even thought about, Moony?"  
  
"Sometimes I have strokes of brilliance," Remus said. He took a swig from the firewhiskey bottle that Peter had passed over to him a while ago - they had nicked two bottles, finished the first which they were spinning with, and passing around this second one. "Oh, I hate firewhiskey."  
  
"Well, we're not getting butterbeer for your weak arse," Sirius said, as Remus handed the bottle to him. "We drink firewhiskey like real men."  
  
"Real men!" James said.  
  
"Real men," Peter echoed, before giggling again.  
  
"We're fifteen," Remus said pointedly. "Peter, it's your turn to spin."  
  
Peter reached into the middle and spun the firewhiskey bottle, leaning back and taking pause as it swirled around on the Gryffindor rug. They all watched it - "I swear to Merlin, if it lands on me again," James said, which made Sirius snort.  
  
It landed on Sirius.  
  
Peter grinned at Sirius from across the bottle. "Truth or dare?" he asked Sirius.  
  
James knew that Sirius would pick dare. Sirius had chosen it the last five times it had gone around to him, three from James wherein he tried to go up the girls' dormitory and failed, was forced to practise his fire-repelling charm when stuck his arm in the fire (it had been half successful; the tips of Sirius's fingers were still burnt, and James ignored how he wants to apologise and maybe--), and went an entire round in dog form, not allowed to verbally react when Remus confessed to fancying someone in their house, and howling so much at one point that they woke up a few angry seventh year girls and had to hide him in the shadows.  
  
Sirius looked at the bottle and Peter thoughtfully and James leaned back on his elbows. This should be good. Maybe Peter will dare Sirius to kiss  _James's_  foot.  
  
"Truth," Sirius said.  
  
James fell down on his elbows and squawked, "What?" that he nearly missed it when Peter said, "What was your first kiss like?" James picked himself up from the ground as Sirius looked between the both of them, a furrow in his eyebrows.  
  
"Sorry, Peter, but  _James_  was being loud," Sirius said.  
  
"Himself," Remus chimed in.  
  
James scowled at the both of them.  
  
Peter cleared his throat. He was sitting on his knees, hands in his lap, and James suddenly didn't want to know the answer to his question - didn't want to know all the girls Sirius has been snogging, even though Sirius always spent their time with him. James knew that a lot of girls fancied Sirius, and surely he'd kissed one or two of them, because what kind of bloke wouldn't?  
  
Peter said, "What was your first kiss like?"  
  
James didn't know if he wanted to avoid looking at Sirius or do so. Sirius made a brilliant contrast against the firelight, grinning and dark and making James's heart pound if he looked at Sirius for too long. He opted for the latter, as avoiding looking at him would look strange to Remus and Peter, who were waiting patiently for Sirius's answer.  
  
Sirius was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "Well, when I was five, my cousins were visiting, and Andy gave me a slobbery one on the cheek - "  
  
"Not  _that_  kind of kiss," Peter said. "A right snog."  
  
"Yeah," James said, because there was no other way to get this over with than to push it. "C'mon, Padfoot, I'm sure it wasn't  _that_  terrible."  
  
"You're the one who snogged Evans at that Christmas party," Sirius said darkly.  
  
James spluttered. "It was because of the mistletoe! And we're not talking about that now."  
  
"Sirius, you're clearly stalling," Remus said, examining his nails. "Why don't you tell us how you kissed Madeline Noble last spring or something so we can move on?"  
  
"Well," Sirius said, sitting upright. He looked around at the three of them. "You're all my best mates, right?"  
  
Peter and Remus rolled their eyes. James said, "'Course, who else would be?"  
  
Sirius squinted around at all of them. "And nothing that's said here will be spoken of after tonight?"  
  
"Oh, don't be dramatic," Remus said, as James took a swig of the firewhiskey bottle and passed it over to Peter.  
  
"Yeah," said Peter. "I'm sure your first kiss wasn't  _that_  bad, Sirius."  
  
"Well," said Sirius. He glanced at the fireplace. "I haven't had it yet," he said to the fire.  
  
James and Remus and Peter all looked at each other.  
  
James was the one to say: "What?"  
  
Sirius turned back to them. "I haven't had my first snog yet," he spat, looking mutinous. Remus held his hands out and Peter, frankly, looked frightened; but James didn't know if he was relieved, or - well, he was definitely relieved, but then he felt guilty immediately afterward. "There's no - I just haven't." He exhaled through his nose.  
  
"We're not judging you," Remus said immediately, even though James and Peter looked at each other in a way where they both knew that they were definitely judging Sirius. Mostly, James was wondering how someone who had girls falling at his feet - for all the proper reasons - hadn't kissed someone yet. But at the same time, James realised, he wasn't even sure if Sirius even noticed all the girls who gawked at him.  
  
Remus continued, "It's just a bit of a - well - "  
  
"Have  _you_  snogged anyone?" Sirius said.  
  
"Well, it's not my turn in the game yet," Remus said, "but yes, I have."  
  
"And you?" Sirius said to Peter.  
  
James said, "Padfoot, come on, it's not like it matters," even though he knew Peter had, as Peter had told him all about last summer. "It doesn't matter you haven't snogged anyone - "  
  
"Easy for you lot to say," Sirius said. "Everyone knows  _you_  snogged Evans - "  
  
"It was the mistletoe!" James said indignantly. "And - anyway, let's just move on - "  
  
"I don't think any less of you," Peter said to Sirius, trying to be reassuring. "It was just a question."  
  
"And it's just kissing," Remus added. "It's not even that interesting."  
  
"Well," James said.  
  
Remus gave him a look, as Peter said, "You've really got to do it right - it can be really awful if you don't know what you're doing and you haven't got a lot of experience - "  
  
"James, spin the bottle," Sirius interrupted, and James forced himself to stop looking at the side of Sirius's face, the angle of his cheekbones, so he could reach out to the middle and spin the bottle. They stopped talking about snogging, and it was soon enough before James was daring Peter to eat one of Sirius's year-old blood-flavoured lollipops.  
  
But James couldn't stop, kept thinking about what it would be like to kiss Sirius now - Sirius and his full, laughing lips when he threw his head back, the arch of his throat and the crinkle at the edges of his eyes when he laughed at Peter's expression. When the rest of them spun, as the firewhiskey went around all of them, and James grew more hazy and stupid, he felt like he couldn't remove his gaze from Sirius's lips, imagining them pressed against his own.  
  
*  
  
   
  
They climbed up to the dormitory at some point, Remus refusing to check the time because he said that ignorance was bliss. James reckoned that they were all going to wake up two hours before exams started and would rush and stress before they got there, but that was a problem for his future self. The sun peeked over the horizon as they made their ways up, dragging themselves upstairs, James and Peter clutching the firewhiskey bottles they wouldn't get caught with later.  
  
Remus and Peter knocked out immediately; after sharing a dormitory with someone for five years, you tend to figure out how they sound when they're asleep. James could tell that Sirius was still awake, though, for some reason. James's head felt light as he thought about Sirius again, safe in his head as he replayed all the moments of tonight, Sirius laughing, grinning at him, talking about kissing - James's whole body relaxed, about ready to go to sleep, his breathing evened out.  
  
A voice broke through the dorm.  
  
"What's it like?"  
  
James opened his eyes and turned his head. Sirius had the four-poster next to him, and James drew back his curtains to see Sirius's still drawn, though James was certain he hadn't hallucinated his voice.  
  
He cleared his sleep-fogged throat. "What?"  
  
Sirius pulled back the curtains on his own four-poster bed, and looked at James. The bags under his eyes were more visible, especially with the sun beginning to emerge through the windows, making his dark eyes even darker. James could see Sirius gnawing at his lips, which had turned red, and forced himself to look somewhere near Sirius's shoulder.  
  
Sirius's voice was quiet when he spoke. "What's it like, snogging? I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about it before - "  
  
James's brain went a little haywire at Sirius talking about this again, the hesitation in Sirius's voice. Immediately James just wanted to climb into Sirius's bed and show him what it was like. But he couldn't do that, because Sirius was his best mate and asking him a question.  
  
James said, "Well it's, um. It depends on who you're snogging, and how - " He huffed, because this probably wasn't what Sirius was asking.  
  
He didn't know what to say, beyond, "Wet."  
  
"Wet?" Sirius turned his head and gave James a look. "Seriously, Prongs? I ask you what it's like to kiss someone, and all you can tell me is  _wet_?"  
  
"I don't know what else to say!" James said defensively. "You've got - it's lips against each other, it's really - " He heaved a breath. "If you're doing it right, it can make you - I don't know what I'm saying."  
  
"I don't think you do," Sirius said. "Have you still got that firewhiskey in you?"  
  
"It's likely." James sighed and stared at the top of his bed. Every nerve in his body ached to sleep, and yet all this talk about kissing was getting James in the mood to kiss someone. Particularly someone barely a metre away from him and was talking about kissing with him, and James squirmed because if his imagination went any further -  
  
Sirius said, "Would it be weird if I asked you to show me?"  
  
"Show you?" James's head swiveled around. "Show you what it's like to snog someone?"  
  
Sirius was quiet for a moment. Then: "Yes."  
  
James was bewildered. "What, you want me to bring Evans in here and snog her in front of you?" he asked. "Or I suppose we could wake Remus or Peter, and I could - "  
  
"No," Sirius huffed, and met James's eyes. They were both still tucked in their beds, but it was like the short distance between felt oceans away, yet something like electricity crackled when their eyes met. "I meant if you - if you snogged me."  
  
James's brain froze. He wasn't sure if he had heard right - if this was all some sort of elaborate dream. "That's - you want me to - "  
  
"Never mind." Sirius was already turning over in his bed, his back facing James. "It is weird, let's just pretend - "  
  
"Sirius - " James was already climbing out of bed, suddenly awake, making his way over to Sirius. He didn't even feel in control of his body, but just that he wanted -  _needed_  so badly. "We can, I - yes, we can, I'm just not sure if you - um, since this'll be your first kiss - "  
  
"And it'll be bad?" Sirius asked, not looking up from where he'd turned at his side.  
  
James sat at the edge of Sirius's bed. He wanted to run his fingers through Sirius's long dark hair, tuck it behind his ears. "No, since it's your  _first kiss_  mate," James said. "I'm not sure if you want it to be with me."  
  
Sirius continued not looking at James when he said, "Who else? You're my - " He exhaled out his nose. James felt a ringing in his ears when Sirius said, "It makes sense if it's with you."  
  
James wanted to ask Sirius what that meant - because they were best mates? because Sirius trusted him the most? - but then Sirius might get impatient and they wouldn't go anywhere and James would berate himself for the rest of his life not snogging the person he'd wanted to snog since he was twelve when the opportunity had landed in his lap. He had to remind himself he couldn't up and kiss Sirius right now, either - that would definitely be weird, and James would look too eager.  
  
He twisted the edge of Sirius's blankets in his fingers. "I suppose that's - okay," he said, and took a deep breath. "If you really want to kiss me."  
  
Sirius sat up and rolled his eyes. "Prongs, I asked you to," he said, and James cracked a smile because things felt normal again. Aside from that they were about to kiss. "Which is insane, by the way, I think I'm still drunk."  
  
James doubted it, but it was a safe mention - blaming it on the alcohol suddenly made James feel more confident. Sirius was sitting against his headboard, James on his knees, and James said, "Alright. Come out from your bed if you - if we're going to do this."  
  
Sirius did so, crawling on all fours until he was sitting across from James on top of his bedspread, mirroring his position. "I can't believe I'm having my first kiss now," Sirius said, as James tried to figure out the best way to do this. "Take that, Peter."  
  
"Take that Peter," James agreed. He placed both of his hands on Sirius's shoulders.  
  
Sirius looked down at them funny. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Preparing to kiss you," James said.  
  
"You're going to kiss me like I'm some sort of stiff old board?"  
  
"Hey," James said, breaking away and laughing. "Would you rather me hold your face?"  
  
"It would make a girl feel taken care of," Sirius said dryly. "I don't know what you do when you're supposed to snog, my parents - " He crinkled his nose and made a face.  
  
James laughed even harder. "Oh, please don't mention them when we're about to do this," he said, and Sirius snickered as well. "Okay, I'll hold your face. Prat."  
  
"I don't know if you're allowed to say stuff like that when you're about to kiss me," Sirius said, as James leaned over, cupped Sirius's cheek.  
  
A hush fell over the both of them at the point of contact. James was stricken with how endless Sirius's eyes were, dark against the light rising through the window, a touch of his messy hair grazing against James's fingertips. Sirius felt like he was barely breathing, with James's hand on his cheek, like he was waiting. James forgot about the rest of the body, except for his mouth and his hand, where he was touching Sirius as the moments passed.  
  
James leaned in. He saw Sirius close his eyes before he did, watched every millimetre until their lips were pressed together before James allowed himself to shut his own eyes. It was just a touch, and should've felt unimpressive, except James's whole body was buzzing, alight at the single touch of their lips. He rested against Sirius for a moment, unsure if he was allowed to go any further - and pulled back before he did.  
  
Sirius's eyes were still closed, opened when James pulled back from him. His eyes met James's; James cleared his throat.  
  
"So," James said. "That's a, um - " His throat was still raspy, and he cleared it again. "A kiss."  
  
"Potter," Sirius said. "You're not telling me that you promised to give me a right snog and aren't going to do it, are you?"  
  
James's eyes went wide, but - it was like his body was moving on its own, when he pushed into Sirius's again, mouths aligning together, Sirius more receptive. James's whole body was waking up as Sirius's hands found James's own face, the back of his neck, thumb stroking at the skin there as James tucked Sirius's bottom lip between his own, moving, tasting more of Sirius. He rose up on his knees as Sirius reached up to meet him - fell forward, pushed Sirius backward into his pillow and kissing him deeper.  
  
He expected Sirius to say something about how it was enough, how yeah, they'd snogged properly now - but Sirius's hands were going to James's back, fingertips digging into his spine and James's knee ended up slotted between Sirius's legs, somehow. James tugged Sirius's bottom lip down with his teeth, breaking apart for a moment so Sirius could part his lips, then touched his tongue against Sirius's teeth. Sirius let out a small sound against James's mouth, which made James smile.  
  
He was hovering over Sirius's body when their mouths broke apart again, Sirius blinking up at him and hazy-eyed. His hands had somehow made their way down to James's arse, which James was seriously not minding.  
  
Sirius said, breathless, "Um, well - that was a snog."  
  
"It was," James said, and grinned nervously from above him. He felt sleepy and giddy all at once with their kissing, and Sirius's mouth was starting to get dark and bruised and James felt guilty, but only a little.  
  
Sirius stared up at him, but didn't tell James to get off. He asked, "Is this better than your snog with Evans?"  
  
"By far," James said. "Mostly because everyone had been watching us then."  
  
"Yeah." Sirius let out a small laugh, then glanced to the side, towards James's bed. Then back at James. "And better than kissing Peter's foot?"  
  
James looked up in thought, earning himself a shout of laughter and a whack from Sirius. "Maybe," James said, laughing when Sirius hit him again.  
  
"I suppose I'll take that," Sirius said. "I'm a better snog than a foot. How comforting."  
  
"We can always try again," James suggested, heart pounding, hoping Sirius would say yes. "Practise your kissing skills until you can out-kiss a foot."  
  
"My competitor," Sirius said, but he took James by the elbows, brought him forward until their lips met again, and they didn't say anything more before they fell asleep, in a blur of where their kisses had taken them.  
  
*  
  
They woke up the next afternoon and didn't talk about it, though James nearly failed his Potions O.W.L. from watching Sirius poke his tongue against his bruised lips for hours. Remus and Peter didn't ask any questions, either, and Sirius didn't ask for James to kiss him again, even though James wanted him to.  
  
He supposed it meant nothing, was just practising, even though Sirius never quite got a girlfriend or a boyfriend, either. Maybe Sirius was waiting for something. But James didn't know for what.

**Author's Note:**

> psst, I also have a [fic positivity thread](https://ficpositivity.dreamwidth.org/267.html?thread=6667#cmt6667) if you want to say nice things about my writing :)


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